The word narcissism is so easily thrown around these days, but is the wounding and vulnerability that lies underneath this pattern really understood? We should look at it as a continuum. We need healthy narcissism to manifest our creative endeavours in the world - Freud spoke about primary narcissism of young children which is a healthy natural expression of Self, not indicative of a problem, but needs to be mirrored by the caregivers of the child. Narcissistic personality disorder is caused by a severe early injury to healthy self-love or self-esteem, where this healthy narcissism has been damaged.
A psychologically absent mother “cannot recognize or support the child’s psychic aliveness and this denies permission for the child to exist or be separate.” Whether outright or subtle, maternal rejection, emotional neglect or a lack of secure attachment arrests the healthy development of the child.
As human beings we have an inherent need to belong, whether with an intimate partner, to a family, friendship circle or community with shared values and experiences, and in due course to ourselves, our purpose and innate potential, and ultimately to Earth and the Cosmos.
The horrific image of a father cutting off the hands of his daughter belongs only in fairytales, or does it? To be without hands is to be disempowered, helpless and dependent on others...